Getting Your Needs Met is up to YOU!

MyMindset: I have the courage to communicate my needs.

What do you need, but aren’t getting and what can you do about it?

I could go into all the reasons why it isn’t healthy to get attached to a certain outcome, or how we really have very few actual ‘needs,’ but I am not going to do that. I am going to answer as a mom, not a coach. As a mom, I often feel like I need my kids to listen to me and do what I ask them to do. Am I getting that? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. 

The second part of the question is the real treasure here - WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT? I love this, because it calls me to take some sort of action. If you have a need (real or perceived) that isn’t being met - as a mom, in a relationship, at work, etc. - you can either accept it or you can ask yourself what you can do about it. Notice I am not asking what someone else (my kids) can do about it, I am asking what I can do about it. The possibilities become almost endless -
My kids aren’t always listening to me - what can I do about it?

• Stop talking or talk/ask for a lot less
• Ask them why they aren’t following direction
• Ask myself if the directions are really important
• Consider why they sometimes listen and follow direction (what is the common denominator)
• Be curious about why this is so important to me
• Etc., etc., etc.

If my needs aren’t being met then I am responsible for making it happen. My needs are my responsibility. I have the courage to communicate my needs and I also have the ability to meet them all on my own.

Now it’s your turn:

What do you need, but aren’t getting and what can you do about it? 

MyMindset can help you create lasting change with our daily questions designed to shift your thinking and your mindset. Register NOW for a FREE 5 Day trial of our Premium service which includes daily questions, inspirational quotations and support/accountability from our team of professional Life Coaches! What are you waiting for?

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Hannah Hollett is co-owner of MyMindset.com, a MyMindset Coach, teacher and parenting, life and business coach. She can be reached for question, comments or a complimentary personal coaching consultation at hannah.hollett@MyMindset.com.  

It's OK to say 'NO'!

Today’s Mindset: I only say ‘yes’ to what I really want to do.

What do you have a hard time saying ‘no’ to, but wish you could?

Why do we say ‘yes’ to things we don’t want to do? I do this far too often, even though I am much better than I used to be. I notice that when I stop, pause and listen to my body before responding to a request I am far less likely to agree to bake 100 cupcakes for a bake sale or head up yet another PTA Committee. 

I know ALL the signs my body gives me when it really doesn’t want to do something... a rush of adrenaline causes my heart rate to quicken, my breathing becomes more shallow, and I feel a weight in my chest that makes it feel like a struggle to get oxygen into my body. These are just the immediate physical signs - more will undoubtedly follow if I choose to ignore these. 

Even though the message is loud and clear I still sometimes ignore it and agree to something. Why? I know my answer - EGO. I admit it, it feels good to have someone ask me to do something and I am a sucker for a sweet compliment like, ‘Hannah, I know you have a lot going on, but you are SO TOGETHER and would do such a great job.’ Here’s how the story ends up - I agree (begrudgingly) and end up resentful and angry. 

I have a hard time saying no to almost everything. However, I know that BEST strategy for me is to ALWAYS take time before responding. 10 words have repeatedly saved me from anger, resentment, overwhelm and ego - I WILL THINK ABOUT IT AND GET BACK TO YOU. Furthermore, if I have said YES to something in haste, I am absolutely willing to say I made a mistake and have discovered that I cannot do it after all. There are no gold medals for martyrs! I only say ‘yes’ to what I really want to do.

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough. Josh Billings

Now it’s your turn:
What do you have a hard time saying ‘no’ to, but wish you could?

MyMindset can help you create lasting change with our daily questions designed to shift your thinking and your mindset. Register NOW for a FREE 5 Day trial of our Premium service which includes daily questions, inspirational quotations and support/accountability from our team of professional Life Coaches! What are you waiting for?

www.MyMindset.com - Find out more

Hannah Hollett is co-owner of MyMindset.com, a MyMindset Coach, teacher and parenting, life and business coach. She can be reached for question, comments or a complimentary personal coaching consultation at hannah.hollett@MyMindset.com.  

Mindset: I work towards being my best self every day.

What will you do to show up as your best self today?

What does it really mean to ‘be your best self?’ My best self will not look the same as yours - and that is completely OK. No one gets to tell you what the ‘best you’ looks like - this is yours to discover and then embody. This week I am really looking at my role as a mom, so it makes sense for me to think about being my best self in that context as well. I know I am showing up as the best version (or at least a pretty darned good one) of me as a mom when I:

• Don’t write check my a$$ can’t cash - in other words, I follow through with what I have said. If I say I am going to do something, whether it is a consequence, reward or a simple action, then I want to make every effort to make that happen. This is what feels right for me. Again, this may not be a part of your best self.
• Resist the urge to react and instead choose to respond with intention and clarity - My best self doesn’t yell, fly off the handle and hmmmph around complaining about things.
• Finally, my best ‘Mom Self’ has fun, laughs, plays and embraces the joy of my quirky, beautiful, amazing, surprising little monkey children!

Today, I will follow through, communicate with intention and clarity, and for the love of Pete I am going to laugh and have fun with my kids! I work towards being my best self every day.

Your ultimate goal in life is to become your best self. David Viscott

Now, it is YOUR TURN...What will you do to show up as your best self today?

MyMindset can help you create lasting change with our daily questions designed to shift your thinking and your mindset. Register NOW for a FREE 5 Day trial of our Premium service which includes daily questions, inspirational quotations and support/accountability from our team of professional Life Coaches! What are you waiting for?

www.MyMindset.com - Find out more

Hannah Hollett is co-owner of MyMindset.com, a MyMindset Coach, teacher and parenting, life and business coach. She can be reached for question, comments or a complimentary personal coaching consultation at hannah.hollett@MyMindset.com.  

Today’s Mindset: I communicate openly and honestly.

Which of your relationships could improve with better communication?

This week we are focusing on COMMUNICATION at MyMindset. I don’t know about you, but I find that most of my relationships could benefit from improved communication. As a coach, I know that focusing on something more specific will help me create a better plan and increase my chances of follow through as well. So, this week I am going to focus on my relationship with my kiddos. How can I communicate more openly and honestly with a 7 year old and 11 year old? Do I tell them everything, lay all my cards on the table and give them the low-down on all my adult problems? Heck no! What I can do is this:

• Take time to really listen to my kids - this means not multi-tasking, asking questions, giving eye-contact, and not feeling the need to jump in and ‘problem solve.’ This may seem simple, but when was the last time your really LISTENED to someone without being attached to your own agenda?
• Keep my conversations brief - I am a talker... Every single one of my relationships could benefit from me talking LESS. This week I will start focusing on this with my kids.
• Be polite - I admit it, sometimes I yell, sometimes I am short and not-so-nice to my kids. When I choose to react instead of be intentional I am teaching my kids to do the same. This week I will focus on being patient and polite.
• Finally, taking the advice of a fellow MyMindset coach and friend, Janette Valentino, I am going to be gentle with myself as a parent this week.

Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference. David Oxberg

Your turn...

Which of YOUR relationships could improve with better communication?

MyMindset can help you create lasting change with our daily questions designed to shift your thinking and your mindset. Register NOW for a FREE 5 Day trial of our Premium service which includes daily questions, inspirational quotations and support/accountability from our team of professional Life Coaches! What are you waiting for?

www.MyMindset.com - Find out more

Hannah Hollett is co-owner of MyMindset.com, a MyMindset Coach, teacher and parenting, life and business coach. She can be reached for question, comments or a complimentary personal coaching consultation at hannah.hollett@MyMindset.com.