Wednesday, January 30, 2013

It's OK to say 'NO'!

Today’s Mindset: I only say ‘yes’ to what I really want to do.

What do you have a hard time saying ‘no’ to, but wish you could?

Why do we say ‘yes’ to things we don’t want to do? I do this far too often, even though I am much better than I used to be. I notice that when I stop, pause and listen to my body before responding to a request I am far less likely to agree to bake 100 cupcakes for a bake sale or head up yet another PTA Committee. 

I know ALL the signs my body gives me when it really doesn’t want to do something... a rush of adrenaline causes my heart rate to quicken, my breathing becomes more shallow, and I feel a weight in my chest that makes it feel like a struggle to get oxygen into my body. These are just the immediate physical signs - more will undoubtedly follow if I choose to ignore these. 

Even though the message is loud and clear I still sometimes ignore it and agree to something. Why? I know my answer - EGO. I admit it, it feels good to have someone ask me to do something and I am a sucker for a sweet compliment like, ‘Hannah, I know you have a lot going on, but you are SO TOGETHER and would do such a great job.’ Here’s how the story ends up - I agree (begrudgingly) and end up resentful and angry. 

I have a hard time saying no to almost everything. However, I know that BEST strategy for me is to ALWAYS take time before responding. 10 words have repeatedly saved me from anger, resentment, overwhelm and ego - I WILL THINK ABOUT IT AND GET BACK TO YOU. Furthermore, if I have said YES to something in haste, I am absolutely willing to say I made a mistake and have discovered that I cannot do it after all. There are no gold medals for martyrs! I only say ‘yes’ to what I really want to do.

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough. Josh Billings

Now it’s your turn:
What do you have a hard time saying ‘no’ to, but wish you could?

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Hannah Hollett is co-owner of, a MyMindset Coach, teacher and parenting, life and business coach. She can be reached for question, comments or a complimentary personal coaching consultation at  

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